(Disclaimer, There are some F bombs, average spelling and probably even worse grammar. But this is me upfront, honest and raw..Take it or leave it, But all I hope is that just one person can walk away with some inspiration, guidance or ability to share their story to help others.)
The start of a journey or a new chapter in my book, a place where I can be “be myself” share my wins, learnings and awesome stuff ups. My ups and downs and most of all the way I live an “Unconventional” Life.
For now is the time embrace and be proud to live and breathe a “Wandering Mindset”. All my life I’ve seen and been told this won’t get me anywhere and I need to focus/laser in on projects.. Well I say fuck that!
3rd of January was the day I was enjoying a nice breakfast and quality time with the family then 5mins after digesting a healthy portion of bacon and eggs the phone rang from Sky Dive Taupo to say weather has cleared up and I would be going through conquering my biggest fair of heights..45mins later I was on a freefalling decent at 200km an hour wondering why it has taken me so long to get over this massive fear..One of the best experiences if not the best thing I’ve done in my life. Take more jumps and face your fears as the pain is only temporary and the achievement is permanent and something I’ll l reflect on for the rest of my life. Full video here
How can I become better in business, How do I make this year better than last year, How can be a better parent, How and where do I fit in, How do I stay fit and feel good. Do any of these go through your heads on a daily basis…For me its a constant noise taking up the minimal brain bandwidth I have left. For someone that got told school wasn’t the right place for me by the headmaster of Auckland Grammar aged 16 to somehow making it through to 34 with a few success points along the way. One of one of my most proud moments, the sense of achievement and reflection was on my 30th Birthday that a goal I wrote on my wall when I was 13 “A millionaire by 30” and something I said to my parents. Achieved having some of the best times of my life with the best people building an 8 Figure business and well on its way to 9 Figures. Wishing everyone at Unleashed all the best for a kick arse next 10 years. But for me personally, it’s on to the next chapter taking me through the next 6 years to the big 40.
My 20s were all about becoming better, having more, spending more, building my first 8 Figure business more more more. Some of these emotions come to mind when I think back on what type of person I was Selfish, Arrogant, Image Focused, and a bit of brat to be around and something I’m not very proud of. That 30th Birthday which is a whole chapter by itself brought a lot some soul searching, internal questions, reflection and time for a change. So for me, the next 6 years was all about working with the best people that share similar visions, passions and values, helping others, making steady progress rather than a quick gain and build organisations that my kids will be proud of when they have their 30th Birthdays. Oh and yes hit the 9 Figure business (only subject I was above 50% at school was economics and Accounting)…
A few beers on a Thursday night ends up being a massive mindset change.
I was sitting down for a casual catch up at Citizen Park sinking a few cold beverages with a couple of mates who are both pretty up there and respected in the NZ music industry. Always great sitting down catching up on everything from cricket to whats new in music to business opportunities etc. As the night progressed on and the beverage tally continued we started to get rather deep into conversations around life on the road as a musician and how the three of us were constantly in the search for better and for me searching for a place of belonging “Fuck its very lonely being an entrepreneur” shout out to Berne Brown and her latest book “Bracing the wilderness” incredible read which lead me on ths path and embracing what I call “Wander Mindset”
But mid conversation a comment was made and caught me by surprise: “Better is the EVIL of good” fuck I said…Instantly this hit a cord with me as all my life I wanted to be good at things; mostly sport early on then dating, business, marriage and of late parenting..From the outside people said I was good at these things some even said great but in my mind I was average and sometimes well below average (massive internal disconnect with reality) as I was always looking for ways to be better, having more and forgetting about “ You know what…it’s actually fucking ok to be good at things and appreciate exactly that…just being good at something”. Forget about being better for a few times in my life and be content with good and enough…easier said than done and it is still constantly something I struggle with.
“Being better at something, Doesn’t mean you’re good at something… You might be shit so give-up and try something else”
People closest to me; thought leaders, business leaders, family are constantly saying “be present, be in the now, be grateful for what you achieved, stay focused, not be distracted by new opportunities”…Then I keep having all this negative self talk along the lines of…I’m doing everything wrong, How do I be more like these people, Why am I so unhappy, Anxious about what is happening tomorrow and it keeps going.
Great quote from Berne Brown
“Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.”
For me it’s embracing my strengths and enjoying “Wandering” as its connected me to some of the most incredible people on the planet, set up businesses I didn’t think was possible, learn from unexpected environments and so much more. Some of the best creativity and solutions to world problems are found by wandering. Google 20% rule is an example of this read here
When travelling there is much excitement but also some unfamiliar territories. Then there are the nights when there is a mixture of bright lights a flightless kiwi bird with far too much alcohol waking in a mindless spiral of darkness.
This one morning I woke up on the floor of my hotel room it was day three of SXSW (South by South West) one of the biggest events for entreprenurs, musicans, and film in the world. An event I’ve had on my bucket list for a long time. I was looking at the ceiling going into a pretty dark place questioning everything about what my life has come to and the decisions I had made. were they right, were they wrong what if I did this etc keep on circling the room and the tightness of my chest wanting to through it all…Luckly I was sharing a room with a close friend who also had a fair bit of ups and downs in his life and understood my situation…and suggested I changed my flights and head home on the next flight which I did (home 10 days early)…
Being an entrepreneur is fucking lonely, really lonely. I’ve lost friends, found it hard to make new ones, hard to have conversations outside of business, become nervous about social engagements, when shit is going well you don’t have people to celebrate with and when shit goes bad generally you feel even more isolated.
It’s ok to be lonely and its ok to ask yourself internal questions, but it’s not ok to let it take over your days, nights and life which it did for me for a good 6 months. (Like a bloody ant farm running around with a million ideas, thoughts and questions not know which way is out).
The last 2 months has been a game changer in finding and re-connecting with the very best people who collectively can help each other make progress, perform and create truly awesome things. When you’re thinking on who you want in your team think firstly how can you help them before asking them for help. It’s ok to have multiple teams and this is what I enjoy as I have three core groups that my passion spreads across “Business, Health & Fitness, Travel”.
My question to you: What your team categories and who are you going to reach out to?
Here are some of my learnings, favourites, fun stuff from the last 12 months that I’m taking into 2018:
- Partnerships in business. Make sure you go above and beyond when you are finding the right partners as you grow your business. I am extremely fortunate to have some incredible partners in my current businesses but also had ones that sat on the wrong side of the fence and weren’t the right fit for that stage of business
- Surround yourself with the very best people and fire the people that are holding you back
- Yearly Goals are good but the last 3 years has only seen me hit 6/10. Break your years into four quarters. For me I get distracted very quickly and love starting new things, embrace what you enjoy so hence why I’m talking a 4 x 90 day start-up phases.
- Read some books that you generally wouldn’t pick up. 3 of my favourites this year The Art of not giving a fuck, 5 Love Languages, Shoe Dog, Daily Stoic .. you never know what you might learn or ideas will present themselves.
- Meditate. Yes is is the buzz word, but it actually works. Do you everything wonder why you read a book and then once finshed cant remember what you just read…Free up your hard drive “brain” by switching off.. Did a TM Course which was awesome but hard to find time with three kids..time to reset in 2018
- Grammarly – Fantastic app for people like me. Spelling, Grammar and structure of emails.
- Health Coach – It’s bloody hard being on the road and staying on track with eating right, training right, recover, jet lag.. Think of a health coach as a health accountant. You wouldn’t run a business without an accountant so why live life without a health coach. Been a game changer the last 90 days in holding me accountable
- Do a few personality tests and work towards your type rather than against and find people that complement your personality type.
- Say NO more its feels awesome. Derek Siver Quote “If it’s not a HELL YES it’s NO”
- Best Podcasts of 2017- Tim Ferris Show, Masters of Scale, Model Health Show
- Best Movie – American Made – Tom Cruise & Plans gotta be good. Bring on Top Gun 2
- Parenting Tip – Telling Stories are more fascinating than reading stories. Always take time to ask your kids what was there favourite thing that happened today and what is something they didn’t enjoy.. Learning through your kids is very powerful
- Kick Arse event that I attended: Two12 sitting down for lunch with Tim Ferris, CEO Evernote is pretty awesome not to mention that other incredible humans that are alumni
I know it might seem the same but changing your mindset to seek progress rather than seek better has been a fantastic shift for myself personally…
2018 is the first year where my focus has changed from setting goals to become better but to set a start up mindset with the outcome being progress…one step at a time!
Something I say to myself “Don’t get bored, Stay in start-up mode, What are we achieving in the next 90 days”
I’m extremely grateful for the connections and friends I’ve made over the last 34 years in the 3 categories and words can’t explain what impact you have had on my life. Both personally and in business.
You all know who you are and I would need to write a second book to thank you all… One at a time ha
Bring on 2018 and beyond…
To everyone out there. Have an awesome 2018 and look forward to sharing my journey along with listing to all of yours along the way. #teameffort #welltravelled